The Path Not Taken
I just wanted to join the frat. Campus life, despite what was advertised, was boring. Classes, hockey practice, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. It was life on a level playing field, so level that nothing ever fucking moved. I wanted more. I wanted friends. I wanted brotherhood. I wanted free alcohol. And sure, some girls to party with would be nice too.
Unfortunately, I was the only who saw it that way.
“Vinny, that is the stupidest thing in the world.”
Brad Richards, my roommate, teammate, and best friend. He was cool, really. Only he was nothing like me. I’m loud, he’s quiet. I’m flashy, he’s solid. I was going to be a star. He just wanted to study. Surprisingly, we get along really well. I guess it’s like they say, opposites attract. Or something like that.
“No it’s not! So are you coming with me or not?”
I was going to The Rock on campus. Yeah, it was eleven thirty at night and snowing out. But I had a sacred duty, a duty all pledge members of my frat had to complete: I was to guard The Rock from our rival frat’s evil paint cans of fucking doom. It was no easy task, staying out there in the freezing cold all night. But it wasn’t impossible. And it would have been easier if Brad had agreed to go with me.
“Not. Sorry, but spending my Friday night keeping some stupid rock from getting spray painted is not my idea of a good time.”
He lay on his bed, which was the top bunk, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to climb up there every night after hockey practice. I sat on the floor, pulling my boots on. So I had to glare up at him, which wasn’t as effective as glaring down. Especially not after he pulled the whole glasses-on-the-bridge-of-his-nose-and-peering-over-them look. He learned that from out English professor.
“Brad, I’m surprised you even know what a good time on Friday night is. It’s not like you ever go out or anything.”
I swore he turned a little bit red. It was hard to tell though, because of the shitty lights our dorms have. Brad cleared his throat, pushed his glasses further on, and rested his chin on the edge of his bed to watch me struggle with my laces. Fuck, I hated tying laces. I had enough problems with my skate laces. My boot laces were just that much worse.
“Fuck you Vinny. I do stuff with other people that aren’t you.”
I wanted to chuckle, but I knew if I did, I’d get his biology text book to the head. Brad was sensitive like that. Instead, I just stood up and started looking for my coat.
“Really? It sure doesn’t seem like it. That’s why you should join the frat with me, come on, you’ll meet a ton of new friends.”
It was true. Brad rarely left the room except for classes or hockey. He was always reading, or on the computer, or reading…come to think of it, Brad did do a lot of reading. Some days, I wonder what was so interesting that he had to read so much, but on those days I usually hit the gym with the guys from down the hall, so…
“Friends with guys like them? Nah.”
Hey. I resented that. So frat boys drink more than occasion dictates, and they party a lot, and they have reputations for being stupid. That didn’t mean they all were like that. Some of them are really decent. Now where the fuck was my coat?
“And you’ll get to meet all the sorority girls.”
Girls were a big draw. I wasn’t really in it for the girls, because well…I wasn’t looking for one. But girls could be really fun to party with. And most sorority girls were hot to look at. I wasn’t sure that was going to be a selling point to Brad though. As far as I knew, he had never had a girlfriend, nor did he want one. He’d never really expressed an interest in girls either. I didn’t want to ask, but you know. I wondered.
“Isn’t it about time you reported to your post?”
Ouch. The brush off. He went back to studying, and I was left to go alone without my coat. I bet one of the goalies stole it. Fucking goalies. I sighed and went to the door.
“Fine, I’m going then. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He didn’t answer, and I wasn’t sure why, but that kind of bugged me.
~~~~~
Hours upon hours of standing in the wet slush, shivering, waiting to see if someone would show up, and dear fucking God I was bored out of my mind. I sort of began someone would show, just so I could do something other than wait. I bet if it were Brad doing this, he would have brought a flashlight and a book to read. He also would have had a coat. Because Brad would never have let someone steal his coat.
“Hey.”
I looked up from watching my boots soak and grinned. Speak of the devil.
“I thought you said you weren’t coming.”
Brad shrugged, looking uncomfortable. Why would he uncomfortable though? It was just me and him out here. Well, and The Rock. I was kind of surprised he showed up though. It wasn’t like him to be awake at this time of night. Brad always got the proper amount of sleep.
“It’s freezing out, and you left without your coat.”
Well no shit buddy, or didn’t you see me digging through our closet for it? Sometimes Brad was really observant. Sometimes, he missed the obvious.
“Yeah, I think it got stolen.”
Had to have been one of the goalies. Nik? No, I don’t think Nik would do something like that. Besides, he made fun of my clothing all the time. He’d never steal it to wear it. Not that I was his size, either. It was most likely Johnny. Johnny was always doing stupid things like that. Not to mention, he was always losing stuff, so he’d just snatch other people’s. This time, the victim just happened to be me.
“I know. Here. I’ve got two.”
He knew? And…he’s holding out a coat to me. A nice, warm, fuzzy looking coat. Brad was a god-send. I put it on immediately, even though the sleeves were a little short and the shoulders a little tight (hey can I help it if I worked out more than him?). And relief, it was warm. And hey, it smelled nice too. I didn’t know Brad wore cologne, but it’s not like I went around sniffing at him.
“Thanks…are you going back now?”
Because I was kind of hoping he would stick around. It was boring out here, and Brad was fun to talk to. When he opened up, I mean. Brad’s pretty private about a lot of stuff. Me, I talked about anything and everything. But Brad…was just not like that. And that’s cool. Kind of mysterious.
“It’s nice out. I can stick around for a bit.”
Score! It was probably safe enough if I sat down at the bench across from The Rock, instead of standing in front of it, so I decided we should do that. We sat pretty close together, but hey it was freezing out and no one was going to see us. Under the lamp that lit the bench, I turned to look at Brad and thought he was cute. Because I did. And I thought that if we weren’t such good friends, and if I didn’t know so little about which way he leaned towards, maybe I might kiss him.
“Cool.”
And he smiled at me, and damn now I really wanted to kiss him. Only I shouldn’t, right? Because he probably wouldn’t like that. And there were a million other reasons, because I had to live with him, and I had to play hockey with him, and I wanted to keep him my friend…oh but I really wanted to. He smelled nice. And he was cute. And he was mysterious and smart and he stayed out here with me when he didn’t have to and he seemed a little lonely sometimes
“Hey Vinny…you’re not really joining this frat just to meet more girls, are you?”
Hell no. I just wanted to have some fun, meet more people, they didn’t have to be girls. But he didn’t have to know that, right? I could be mysterious too.
“Maybe. What’s it to you?”
Oh shit, and the look on his face just made me feel like utter crap. Maybe I didn’t do this mysterious thing as well as he did. So I did the only thing I could think of.
“Nothing, I guess. I’ve some reading to finish, I’m going to-“
I kissed him.
~~~~~
It was kind of a tradition to come out here now, and this being our senior year, it was sort of extra special. We probably wouldn’t get to come here again anytime soon. This night, four years after the first night I kissed him, wasn’t any warmer. But it was okay, because we didn’t have to wait until dawn to go in.
I finished spraying my message on The Rock, ignoring Brad’s eye rolling and pointing out how immature I was, and put the cap back on the can. There. B+V. I thought it was awesome. And whether or not he’d admit it, Brad did too.
“Can we go in now? I kind of don’t want to over sleep our graduation ceremony.”
“Whiner. Just one more thing.”
I grabbed him and kissed him in front of The Rock, and I mentally thanked Johnny for stealing my coat all those years ago.