How to Get What You Want
“Bonjour.” She was a way too cheery sounding register girl with a nasty air about her.
He was a teenage boy and just a little bit nervous. “Um, bonjour. Can I have um, the grilled chicken sandwich avec cheese?”
“Je suis désolé, je ne comprends pas.” She was smiling, though her eyes had narrowed and her tone was considerably less cheery and colder. I’m sorry, I don’t understand.
He sighed. “Grilled. Chicken. Sandwich. Cheese.”
"Quand vous êtes certain de ce que vous voulez, vous pouvez placer votre commande. Suivant." She motioned for the next customer to move up with a wave. When you’ve made up your mind, you may come place your order. Next.
He grabbed the counter edge firmly and held his ground, refusing to let the fat lady behind him push him aside. “Hey, hey! I’m not done here! I’m hungry and I have money!”
She smirked cattily. “Come back when you’ve learned French. Comprenez-vous?”
He took a step back, outraged. “Okay, that’s not fair. You can speak English, just help me out here.”
“English is such an ugly language. Suivant?” The cashier turned away from him, as though he no longer existed.
Brad scowled as the customer behind him shoved him to one side and placed her order in rambling French. “Yeah, well, your face is ugly and you have no friends,” he grumbled, leaving the store with dragging feet. His stomach protested loudly against departing without food, but Brad had no choice. He sighed again, trudging back towards the hotel the team was staying at.
He saw Vinny in the lobby, flirting shamelessly with one of the girls at the front desk. At that moment, he hated Vinny more than he hated anyone in his whole life, because Vinny looked like he was full. And Vinny was speaking French.
“Oh, hey, Brad. How was lunch?” Vinny asked when he saw Brad. Brad shook his head and pushed past Vinny towards the elevators. Vinny frowned and followed after him.
“You okay?”
“No. I’m hungry. I’m going to the room and opening one of those bags of nuts.” The elevator doors opened and Brad slipped inside. He was going to press the button for his floor, but Vinny did that for him instead.
“Do you know how much those cost?”
“At this point, I don’t care, okay?” Brad snapped.
“Brad, what’s the matter? Didn’t you get lunch?”
“No, because everyone in this stupid province won’t talk to me!”
Vinny stared at Brad for a moment, then snorted as he tried to keep from laughing. He tried to cover it up as a cough, but Brad saw right though it.
Brad glared. “Oh sure, laugh it up. It’s easy for you.”
The elevator doors opened and Brad stepped out, storming towards their hotel room with the intent to lock Vinny out. Except Vinny was far too fast and managed to duck in behind him before he slammed the door shut.
“Hey, you know…you could have asked me to come with you.”
“You had your own plans. Besides, I don’t want you to have to hold my hand every time I step outside.” Upon further examination, the nuts were, in fact, far too expensive. Brad was hungry, but he wasn’t that desperate yet. He went to see if he had something packed in his bag.
“Even if I wanted to hold your hand?” Vinny mumbled.
“Hm?” Brad looked up from rummaging in his bag, trying to find an old candy bar he was sure he had in there.
“Nothing. Hey, I got a better idea. I’ll help you with your French. You know, help you help yourself? Or something like that.”
“Really? You’d do that for me?” Brad paused in his search to smile brightly at Vinny.
Vinny’s smile back was somewhat bashful. “Sure, what are best friends for?”
----
“J'aimerais…um, gimme my money back!” Brad yelled, frustrated, falling back on the bed.
Vinny rolled his eyes. “J'aimerais que tu me rends mon argent, s’il vous plait. It’s not that hard. And if you say it nicely, people might actually pay you back.” I would like my money back, please.
Brad rolled onto his side, propping his head up on one hand. “Well sure, if you say it in French, people’ll do anything for you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Vinny turned in his chair to stare at Brad.
“You really don’t know?” Brad grinned. “French is a very sexy language.”
“It’s just a language.”
“Please. Why do you think girls are fawning over you all the time?”
Vinny frowned slightly. “I thought it was because I was hot.”
“Maybe it’s that too.” Brad groaned with exaggerated effort as he sat up, then ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s call it a day. It’s almost time for the team dinner, and that’s one place I don’t need to know how to order.”
“Wait a minute. So you think I’m hot?”
Brad tilted his head, pretending to scrutinize Vinny for a moment, and laughed. “You’re not bad looking, I guess.”
“Then, hypothetically speaking, you would go out with me.”
“Sure. Especially since you speak French. But this is all, you know, hypothetical.”
Vinny smiled slowly. “Cool. Anyway, yeah, we’d better get going…”
“Hang on a sec.” Brad stood up and walked over to Vinny. “Aimerais-tu sortir avec moi un jour?” Would you like to go out with me?
“See, your French is getting better already.” Vinny grinned. “"Je pense que oui, je sortirai avec toi" I think I would love to go out with you.
“So admit it, I was right.”
“Yeah. People’ll do anything if you speak to them in French.”