Who's on First?
Jiri and Nick. Jiri and Nick. All around the locker room these days, it was all Boyd kept hearing. Jiri and Nick. And really, it didn’t bother him or anything…except that no one had been able to confirm it. Was it true? Or was it just a stupid rumor Shanny was spreading? Boyd decided that, as the unofficial keeper of the team’s dating records, he had to find out the truth. And, as any good unofficial reporter knew, the best way to find out anything was to go straight to the source.
~~
“Hey Nick?”
Nick Lidstrom paused on his way to the showers and turned to find Boyd grinning at him. He quirked an eyebrow, slightly disturbed by that grin, but smiled back. Boyd was mostly harmless.
“Yes?”
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
Oh dear lord, a personal question? The baby of the team was finally growing up! Nick felt a strange sense of pride that Boyd had sought him out to talk about this subject and tucked his towel tighter around his waist. Sure, he could take a few minutes to talk to Boyd.
“Are you and Dandy finally taking that next step?”
Boyd frowned slightly. “What? No! Why, has Dandy been talking to you? I knew I never should have mentioned that…”
Nick sighed. So it wasn’t about that. How boring. “Never mind, Boyd. What were you going to ask?”
“Huh?” Boyd blinked, then grinned again. “Oh, right. Um…I was just going to ask, are you and Jiri together?”
“Of course not, why would you think that?” Nick replied. “Jiri is a nice kid, but I’ve got someone else in mind.”
“Hmm.” Boyd thought hard for a minute, then came to a realization. He must have the wrong Nick. “Okay, thanks Nick, I’ll see you later.”
Nick watched Boyd run off, shaking his head slightly. Forwards. Insane, the lot of them. Then he proceeded on to the showers.
~~
Jiri Hudler was busy sawing his stick when Boyd popped out seemingly from nowhere. Though he would deny it until the day he died, Jiri let out an alarmingly girlish shriek.
Boyd blinked at him. “Wow Jiri, I didn’t know your voice could go that high.”
“Shut up,” Jiri muttered, blushing. “You surprise me.”
“Sorry.”
Jiri just nodded slightly and brushed sawdust off his shirt. “You want something?”
“Um, yeah. I was wondering, can I ask you a personal question?”
Jiri was filled with a strange sense of awe that of all the veterans on the team, of all the teammates Boyd had known longer than him, Boyd had chosen him to ask such a very personal question.
“So you and Dandy finally are-“
“No!” Boyd cut in, peevishly, his brow creasing in a frown. “Why does everyone think that? I was just going to ask if you and Nik are together.”
Oh. Jiri sighed wistfully. “I wish.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…of course I want to be with Nick. He’s so…perfect, yes? Only, I am so young.”
“Oh come on, it’s not like he’s that old either. He’s only 23,” Boyd encouraged gleefully, happy to leave his role as dating record book keeper to play matchmaker for a moment.
Jiri gave Boyd a strange look. This was one of those things where it wouldn’t be so confusing had he a better command of the English language, wasn’t it? “No, 34.”
Boyd gave Jiri a strange look. Wait, what? “What?”
“What?”
“What?”
“What?”
“No I will not take my medication!” Boyd yelled out of the blue. It was a tagline to an inside joke he used to share with Mike Comrie. Only he had forgotten, Jiri Hudler wasn’t Mike Comrie. Maybe it was the shortness that had confused him. “Wait, I mean…”
But by then, Jiri was already holding his saw in front of him in a defensive fashion and backing away slowly. “I see you later okay?
“Yeah okay, I’ll talk to you later,” Boyd mumbled, rushing off. Jiri let out a relieved breath. Mostly harmless his tiny little ass.
~~
Nik Kronwall was sitting at his stall, taping up some sticks when Boyd plopped down next to him and sighed tiredly. Seeing Boyd’s disgruntled expression, Nik offered a smile.
“Everything okay? Are you and Dandy-“
“Nothing is me and Dandy, okay?” Boyd grumbled. Then, looking up, he saw who he was talking to and brightened considerably. “Oh hey, Nik!”
Nik’s smile wavered slightly at Boyd’s sudden change in mood, but he patted Boyd’s shoulder. “Yep, that’s me.”
“Okay, can you straighten something out for me?”
“I can try, yes.”
Boyd took a deep breath. “Are you and Jiri together?”
Nik thought long and hard with the tip of his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth, and finally answered, “Which Jiri? Because I don’t date forwards.”
“But you date defensemen?”
“Right.”
“Any named Jiri?”
“Yeah.”
“So the rumors are true then?”
“What rumors?”
Boyd laughed almost giddily. Success at last! “Oh never mind. Hey look, Jiri just came out of the showers! I’ll see you later!”
Boyd bounced off, causing Nik to smile bemusedly and glance towards the shower doors. Jiri Hudler walked out, the standard sized towel looking far too large on him. Jiri smiled at Nik, glanced warily in the direction Boyd had gone off in, and went to his stall. Nik went back to his taping.
~~
Jiri Fischer finished up his set and replaced the weights on their racks. He turned to go stretch on the mats and found himself face to face with Boyd.
He blinked and backed up a step. “Hey Boyd.”
Boyd smiled deviously. “Hey Jiri. So you and Nik, huh?”
Jiri ran a hand through his sweaty curls, not quite sure why Boyd was making it sound so significant. “Oh, so you know?”
“Yes, I have finally figured it out.”
Jiri grinned, patting Boyd on the shoulder and moving past him towards the mats. “Then maybe you and Dandy would want to-“
Boyd scowled darkly at Jiri’s back. “For the last time, me and Dandy are…”
Then, from the far side of the weight room, Shanny’s voice rang out loudly, cutting Boyd off. “…did you hear about Steve and Kris’ lame date?”
And Boyd’s eyes lit up. It was time for him to go to work again.