Of Love and Spinach
Not to sound like a Scrooge, but I hate Christmas.
When I was a child growing up in Russia, my parents used to take me to church. We’d sing, light candles, listen to the priest talk about Jesus, and I suppose it was nice enough. But now that I’m no longer religious, that facet of the holiday has lost all meaning to me.
I hate the commercialization of Christmas too. All the candy, the lights, the sales, it makes me sick. It’s nothing but a tremendous waste of money and energy, and for what? To keep children believing in this fat guy who sneaks into houses and eats their food? Excuse me while I roll my eyes.
John however, loves Christmas, and I guess it has to do with his American upbringing. He seems to throw himself into this holiday happily, and I’ll admit, it makes me feel kind of warm and fuzzy inside to see how excited he is. And despite my reserves about the holidays, I refuse to ruin it for John. Which is why I decided I had to get him the perfect gift.
I am so very screwed.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m telling you now: I am terrible at giving gifts. Ask Vinny and Brad about the cookie cutters I gave them for their birthdays. Or Marty and the shoe shine kit I gave him when his son was born. I really really suck.
I didn’t want John’s gift to be crappy though, so I thought long and hard about what I should get him. So long in fact, that it is now Christmas Eve and I’m still thinking.
Like a said, I’m screwed.
John is out right now, getting some last minute shopping done. I’m not sure what’s left for him to buy-the house is decorated, our fridge is stocked with eggnog, and presents are under the tree-but he insisted he forgot something.
With my luck, it’ll be my gift. He’s probably out right now getting my present while I’m sitting here like a fool.
Suddenly, inspiration strikes. How did I not think of this earlier? I smile, grab my keys, and run out the door.
~~
His car in the driveway lets me know he’s already home. I tighten my grip on the small paper bag I’ve got and walk into the living room.
“Hey John, I’m…”
My eyes land on him, standing in the middle of the room, and I pause. John’s wearing this…well I want to say outfit, but it looks more like a costume…and it makes him look like a present wrapped in penguin holiday wrapping paper. He smiles at me nervously and I lift my eyebrows at him.
“Hey Nik.”
I opt not to comment about his choice of clothing just yet. “Um, is there a reason you’re standing under a bunch of spinach?”
John’s gaze drops to the floor and he blushes. “It’s supposed to be mistletoe, “he mumbles, “but all the stores were sold out.”
“That’s what you forgot?” I smile and walk over to him. “But I guess I’m still allowed to kiss you.”
And I do. And damn if I don’t love kissing him.
“So what is with this?” I wave my arm to indicate his outfit and the spinach.
“I just-Nik, I didn’t know what to get you because you sorta have everything. But I wanted to get you something special, for our first Christmas together, and, it’s me, under well, spinach. Because you’re the only guy I want to kiss Nik. You know what I mean?”
I didn’t know it was possible to love him more than I already do, but this just might do it. “I do know. This is-I love you John.”
“I love you too.” He kisses me this time, and I’ll never admit it but my knees threatened to buckle.
“Now here, open your gift.” I hand him the small bag and smile slightly, shuffling my feet. John grins and opens the bag eagerly. He pulls out the little plastic figurine and I watch intently as he brushes his fingers across it softly.
“Nik…” his voice is thick, like he might begin crying. But when he looks at me, his eyes are shining with happiness, and I feel a catch in my heart knowing that I was the cause of his joy. “It’s you.”
“I know its lame.”
“No,” he cuts in, “it’s perfect.”
He kisses me again, throwing his arms around my neck, and as I unwrapped my present I figured I could learn to like Christmas.